


A Bad Idea

by GabeTheArchTrickster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confetti gun, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 01:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11933259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabeTheArchTrickster/pseuds/GabeTheArchTrickster
Summary: I had a friend ask Richard and Rob, when she was a convention, what would happen if God, Amara, and the Archangels were trapped in a room together. This is basically their answer.





	A Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned, total crack fic.

Death was sick of this shit. He brought back Raphael and Gabriel, and what do they turn around and do? Almost start another apocalypse. Those damn heavenly pieces of shit need to talk it out. Time to set the plan in motion.

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There were six ‘thuds’, as six bodies fell to the floor of a room. The room was about the size of a small house. The bodies were those of God, Amara, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel. God was the first to sit up, followed closely by amara. “What in my name happened?” Asked god, holding his head in his hands. “I believe we are trapped in a room,” Replied amara dryly. They stood up and took in the sight before them. “Children!” Yelled chuck, excited and a little startled. “Shut the fuck up. I need some fucking vodka to cure this damn hangover. Never, I repeat never, party with pagans,” grumbled Gabriel. He then opened his eyes, and regretted it. “Aw, crap,” said the youngest archangel, and tried to snap himself away. He failed. Gabe stood up and summoned some vodka. “If I'm doing this, it's not happening sober,” he said, promptly downing the entire thing.  
Michael was the next to wake up. He screamed and ran into a corner of the room, hitting his head so hard he proceeded to knock himself out again. The scream woke up both lucifer and Raphael. They were not happy to be there. “What do we have here?” Asked Lucifer, in his somehow always sultry voice.  
“Obviously, this was meant to bring us all together and sort out our differences-” amara tried to say, but was interrupted by Gabriel. “YOU BIG BAG OF DICKS. YOU FRIGGING KILLED ME,” he yelled at luci. “Yes, I did. Now are you going to hold a grudge or are we going to forget about it and get smashed?” He asked. Gabriel was dumbstruck for a moment. “Okay. Let's get hammered,”.   
Immediately, there was alcoholic beverages covering every surface, including the tables that had appeared. Luci grabbed four bottles of scotch, and went over to Michael. He started to pour them down his brother's throat. “What are you doing?” Asked a perplexed Raphael. “He was in hell for a couple hundred years, and it's traumatic. Believe me, I'd know,” he paused to glare at god, who shuffled uneasy. “I apologized,” mumbled chuck. Lucifer ignored the comment and continued on, “But you can also believe me when I say it's nothing that scotch can't fix. When he wakes up, he'll be fine,”. Everyone was quiet for a moment. Then a loud pop sounded, mariachi music started to play, and a bunch of confetti covered everything. All eyes turned to Gabriel, who had a confetti cannon in his hand and was blowing into a kazoo. Bottles littered the floor at his feet. “I'm officially drunk,” he said, taking the kazoo out of his mouth. Raphael walked over and grabbed one of the bottles that was left after the tornado that was Gabriel. “Why do you all believe the solution to this problem is inebriation?”   
“I do not believe that is the solution, I was trying to say earlier that-” Amara tried to say, but was cut off again. This time by lucifer. “Raph, if you can't apocalypse a problem away, drinking it into submission is the next best answer,” he said, grabbing the bottle that was in Raphael's hand and chugging it. Amaras patience was wearing thin, and it showed on her face. “Or, we could try to solve it with conversing-” she was cut off again, by Gabriel. “Oh, look! A unicorn!” He said, pointing to a wall. Raph, god and amara looked, while lucifer gave him a bitch-face to rival sams. Gabe winked at him, and went up and kissed amara while god and Raph were still looking for the unicorn. “Gabriel! I'm your aunt! That is highly-” her rant was cut off again. “Amara? Wow, you're looking less trapped. How'd you get out? Why are you so blurry? And since when are you a girl? A cute one at that,” he rambled. Then walked away muttering about how the cute ones always have something bad. Anger issues, demon blood, literally are the darkness. Or something like that. At this point, God looked done with life, lucifer kept drinking and started singing, Amara joined lucifer in the drinking, Raphael was still looking for a unicorn, Gabriel kept messing with Raph, and Michael woke up yelling about flying tortillas.

\--------------------  
“Well,” said death, “that was not what I had planned at all.”


End file.
